ANSHIM: How to Stay on Good Terms with Koreans!

It may be a bit difficult to accept the idea that Koreans have a deeply embedded need and desire for anshim (ahn-sheem), or “peace of mind,” after you have engaged in a bargaining session or had a personal encounter with someone.   Koreans regularly engaged in loud arguments and verbal fights that can be upsetting to those who don’t know what is going on—and in this respect they have sometimes been referred to as “The Irish of the Orient!”   The propensity of Koreans to engage in both verbal and physical battles is also at odds with an ancient Chinese description of the Korean Peninsula as “The Land of Morning Calm.”   Subsequent views of the calm nature of Koreans have traditionally been reflected in the arts, including portraits of elderly retired gentlemen sitting in perfect repose in their traditional attire.   But these views have been misleading. During the 15th century fighting among Korean men was so endemic that the king [Sejong] issued an edict requiring adult males to wear heavy hats made of clay, with the proviso that if they got into a fight that was serious enough for the hats to fall off of their heads they would be severely punished.   [I don’t know how it could have happened but this ancient custom must have given rise to the old English saying of “fighting at the drop of a hat.”]   Still, the role of anshim in Korean relationships is of vital importance, and can be traced to the influence of Buddhism and Confucianism, both of which had a powerful impact on the mindset of Koreans, programming them to be at ease and comfortable only in settings that were highly structured and all of the traditional forms of etiquette were followed precisely.   Obviously, however, this programming did not preclude loud verbal bouts and even physical action when they were done within the accepted guidelines of behavior.   In today’s Korea the concept and importance of anshim continues to play a leading role. Korean culture continues to support the ideal of doing nothing to disturb the peace of mind of other people in the use of language, in personal behavior, in the ethics they follow in business, and so on.     The main thing for foreigners to keep in mind is that anshim in Korea does not mean the same thing as “peace of mind” does in the Western world.   Some of the demands and dictates in Korea’s business world, for example, go against everything Westerners hold dear.   Among other things, a Korean manager will publicly and loudly lambast an employee, or group of employees, in the strongest terms for some failure or mishap—something that is, however, a definite no-no for foreign managers in Korea.   Koreans distinguish between their own behavior and the behavior they will accept from foreigners, and these differences can be so subtle only a Korean, or a foreigner who is deeply steeped in Korean culture, picks up on them.   For most foreigners in Korea this means relying on trusted Korean employees to provide the insights and guidelines that are necessary to maintain anshim in business settings.   Copyright © 2009 by Boyé Lafayette De Mente ____________________ Boyé Lafayette De Mente is a graduate of Jōchi University in Tokyo and Thunderbird School of Global Management in Glendale, Arizona. He is the author of more than 50 books on the business practices, cultures and languages of China, Japan, Korea and Mexico. For a list and synopses of his books go to: www.boyedemente.com .

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