Learn How To Argue With Your Spouse - Learn How To Save A Marriage

I’d like to suggest 5 steps to use when arguing so things don’t get worse and hopefully even help solve the argument.


1. Don’t try to win points. When arguing, it’s normal to want to “win” points. But hopefully you didn’t get into this argument because you wanted to win, rather you wanted to make things better. Winning an argument is usually a no win situation. Someone may feel like they won, but the relationship rarely gets better because of it. Because even if someone made better arguments why they were right, the other person will never walk away feeling better. If they don’t feel better, all you’ve done is set yourself up for a future battle over the same or even a different topic. So the best thing is to not think your goal is to win the argument or even just win the most points. Focus on your real goal: to improve or even save your marriage.

2. Learn to listen. The person you are now arguing with has feelings too. Remember the obvious, this is the same person you loved enough to marry. Make sure you listen to their feelings. It’s unlikely that their only goal in fighting with you is to make an unhappy marriage. The best rule is to listen more than you speak. Otherwise you won’t find out the real source of your disagreement. And honestly, in terms of how to save a marriage, listening to your spouse is probably the most important step.

3. Put yourself in their shoes. If you listened well you should now understand how they feel. Ask yourself and be honest, if you felt the same way, how would you react? What could your spouse do to make you feel better? This should put you in the right mainframe to work through this problem

4. Be sensitive to express your own feelings in light of your spouse’s feelings. Don’t just talk about yourself, but include your partner’s needs as well. Summarize what your spouse feels and then add in your own feelings.

5. Problem solving. Now here is where you put all the pieces together. You say something like, “Now I understand how you feel. What can we do so that we both feel better?”

Because it’s hard to always think clearly when you’re in the middle of an argument, it’s important to review these steps. If you can use this method of discussing your disagreements, you will have gone a long way toward answering the big question we asked at the beginning of this article, on how to save a marriage.Please visit http://www.marriagesavingarticles.com/ .Thanks a lot.

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