The art of question - Enable you get to know someone or something quickly

One of the quickest ways to get to know someone or to understand something is to ASK QUESTIONS! That is really difficult I hear you think, I am really shy and I hate talking with people.

The great news is that if you perfect the art of asking the right questions then you will never appear shy again. The favourite topic of conversation for every person is themselves, tap into this interest and you will have a captive audience.

Before we go much further it is useful to know that questions come in four types:

Closed questions — particularly helpful for establishing facts. They often result in yes/no answers. Begin with words such as can you, will you, do you.

Open questions —result in answers of more than one word and encourage sharing of more information. Begin with words such as who, how, why, what, tell me about ...

Probing questions —these are usually follow up questions and allow you to explore some point more fully. Begin with words such as “what do you mean by … “, “in what way”.

Leading questions —these tend to hint at the answer you are looking for. People who lack confidence may be uncomfortable about challenging leading questions. Begin with words such as “you would … wouldn’t you?”, “I suppose you … “, “it is … isn’t it”.

If you are trying to strike up a conversation, then make sure you use lots of open questions. For example to change the traditional ‘Do you come here often” to something a bit more open, try “Hi. What brings you to this pub/event?” “Tell me about your job/business” is another great open question you can use.

One key tip —don’t have a series of questions and then rattle them off like a police prosecutor. The art of questioning is to mix up the style of questions, listen really well to what the other person has to say and match your responses to what they say.



Reflection Questions & Activities.

1. Change these closed questions to open questions:

* Do you want to go out to dinner on Friday?
* So you resigned from your previous job?
* Can you tidy your room please?
* Will you be going to the game on Saturday?

2. Find a friend to practice with. Work out some great open questions and then try them out on each other.


Ingrid Cliff is a Brisbane based Business Development and Human Resources Consultant to Small and Medium Businesses with her company Heart Harmony www.heartharmony.com.au. .

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